The Only Solution to All Emotional Problems

Dare I be so bold?

Is there really a single solution for all emotional / psychological problems and phobias?

From my perspective there’s only one problem in life. And this is something anyone who’s ever had a BOTHERSOME problem has done –“to themselves”.

Not that all solutions will come automatically. But that the real PAIN causing part of the problem is pretty much just one simple little thing.

But before we continue let me explain exactly what I mean by “Emotional Problems.”


Defined: “Emotional Problems”

Any thought or feeling that makes you feel less than joyously
happy regardless of the outer reason or cause for the feelings.


Examples of Emotional Problems

1. Worry
2. Fear
3. Depression
4. Panic Attacks
5. Stress
6. Grief
7. Loss of control
8. Overeating or eating junk food during times of stress
9. Anxiety
10. Anger
11. Hatred
12. Low self-esteem

And even such conditions as bulimia, anorexia, claustrophobia etc. I’d also consider as emotional problems that can be quickly resolved with this simple idea.

I realize some of these emotional issues may have a physical or chemical component as well. I’ll address that later in the article.

Now get ready to discover this incredibly simple yet life-changing secret.

All painful emotional problems happen for one reason only.

It’s because we’re focusing on the PROBLEM (specifically emotional PAIN) instead of the SOLUTION or JOY.

Focus on the problem and you make it worse. You actually attract more problems and more aggravation.

Focus on the solution and you start to feel better immediately. Ideas for multiple ways to solve the problem start coming to you.

Just because there is a problem in your outer life does not mean you have to focus on the problem and worry about it.

You always have the choice of thoughts you want to think. And therein lies your power to solve all emotional problems.

How about I give you a couple of examples…

1. Flat tire:

Let’s say you get a flat tire, which makes you late for work and you don’t know how to change it and you’re cell phone battery is dead.

Would you start panicking under those circumstances?

Would you get upset?

Would you blame someone for the problem and then just be annoyed for the day?

Maybe you’d have a gnawing sense of fear in your gut that makes you physically sick.

Isn’t it possible to feel just as much joy before the flat tire as after it?

After all, you are in charge of your thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t matter what happens outside of you. All that matters is how you react to it.

And who do you think will get a better resolution to their flat tire problem? The person who’s upset about it and worrying. Or the person who fully trusts that it will work out?

I’d bet you the second person will find a solution quickly and make a new friend at the same time.

2. Argument with your spouse, family member or friend:

Now this situation is a little more tricky. In an argument, emotions flair and there’s usually anger involved.

It’s usually one person trying to control another.

In this case, the only reason for the anger and the argument is because you’re focused on what you can’t control. You want to change the other person in some way, the other person wants to change you and you may be using negative feelings, guilt etc. to try to force the change.

But in truth, you never need to have the argument in the first place. An argument can only happen if you focus on negative emotions.

Trust me I’ve had thousands of arguments over the course of my lifetime, but that has been changing dramatically with my recent discovery.

These days I find it next to impossible to get mad. The situations that used to be arguments are calm and loving discussions.

I realize now “FINALLY” that I can only control myself. That I’m more likely to get cooperation through love and kindness than through argument, fault finding and nit-picking.

And so if you take this approach, the argument never even happens to begin with. And you stay focused on JOY instead of hate, anger and fear.

You let go the need to control and trust that life will go just fine.

And things that used to bother you, just don’t seem so important anymore.

I’m not saying to do this with your children. Though they should be given as much freedom as you can without spoiling them or letting them hurt themselves.

But with adults it’s best not to try and control but to remain in the JOY consciousness at all times.

Now getting back again to the main point…

The source of all emotional or psychological issues is just one simple thing.

The person is focusing on the emotional PAIN instead of PLEASURE.

We all have thoughts and emotions. But sometimes the pain is so great it fully captures our attention and it grows and grows. But we chose to put our attention on fear in the first place.

Eventually it gets to the point where it’s a phobia or some other sort of hardened psychological condition or complex.

But all you have to do to get rid of the pain, phobia or complex is to “focus on how you WANT TO FEEL,” regardless of what’s going on in your outer world.

Think about it… if you focus on your pain — you get more pain.

If you focus on LOVE and HAPPINESS, you get more LOVE and HAPPINESS.

What you focus upon magnifies.

And when you’re in a state of LOVE, HAPPINESS and JOY solutions are much easier to come by.

It’s just that simple.

And life is simple.

When you’re in a POWERFUL state of JOY you bring greater energy into your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of yourself and this greater energy allows you to CREATE and ATTRACT into your life positive things much easier than when you’re mired in emotional pain, fear and chaos.

And your sense of self actually expands. You become magnetic.

To get out of the pain, you have to stop playing the old record of pain, anger, depression or frustration.

Just go to your record player (Oops I mean to your cassette player, actually your CD player, then again maybe your iPod) — well you get the picture — and turn off the sad song and put on a happy one.

It’s just as easy to listen to a happy song as a sad one.

The only exception I can find to this solution to all emotional problems is when someone is in a physically caused state of unhappiness.

For many years I found it next to impossible to feel happy. Even when I was focusing on God and happy thoughts.

That is because my body was out of whack. I was even trying all day long to focus on positive thoughts and yet I felt the emotional pain crippling me.

Though by my focusing on the positive I was able to survive at least. It improved my situation but did not resolve it.

In this case my body was focused on the negative emotions via the food I was eating. I was on a cooked food diet and once you cook the food you literally take the life force and love out of the food.

And I’m not just saying this. There’s no question there’s way more joy in freshly squeezed orange juice compared to pasteurized juice in a carton. You can feel the fresh squeezed juice tingling with life.

My body needed its food to be positive just as much as I needed my thoughts to remain positive.

Other than a chemically or biologically caused depression the simple solution to all psychological problems is to stop playing the record of pain in your mind over and over again.

And it doesn’t matter what your outer circumstance are.

That’s it.

End of story.

Doesn’t matter what anyone did to you in the past.

Doesn’t matter if you were a nerd or uncool in school and lots of kids made fun of you.

Doesn’t matter if your drunk father beat you mercilessly.

Doesn’t matter if you were raped.

Doesn’t matter if you have low self-esteem.

The pain of these problems is ALWAYS because your focusing on pain instead of JOY.

Even if you weren’t consciously aware of it. That’s what you’ve been doing… creating your own Hell.

If you focus on the emotional pain of being beaten, then you’ll have more of that pain. Maybe you’ll feel anger or guilt.

But those are your choices.

Why recreate and relive what happened in the past. Bless the situation and move on.

One of the greatest attributes of advanced spiritual beings is forgiveness.

And the only moment is NOW.

The past is gone. The future never comes because there’s only NOW.

For as you focus on any pain you recreate it over and over again and bring destruction to your own world and your body. In fact, negative emotions are one of the causes of premature aging.

All FEAR is due to — focusing on FEAR.

Even if you have a tiger getting ready to seemingly pounce on you, you still have the choice to focus on fear or JOY. And somehow I suspect that if you managed to be able to focus on LOVE that the tiger simply wouldn’t be interested in attacking you. Many a yogi has walked through the jungles of India which are filled with tigers and yet never been attacked by them.

In my experience, there is no FEAR in HEAVEN.

If your focus is on or in HEAVEN then nothing can harm you.

If your focus is on something other than JOY, HAPPINESS and LOVE then you’ll experience pain and problems. And that emotional state of unease is what I call Hell.

And it’s a completely self-created Hell.

Right now in this very moment, you can make a decision to change. You can never again be bothered by any emotional distress at all if you”ll simply focus on JOY, LOVE and HAPPINESS regardless of outer circumstances.

Please let me know what you think of this simple way of handling all emotional problems.

Hope this brightens your day,

Roger Haeske
The 44-Year Old Teenager

P.S. Please don’t overlook this idea because it’s so simple. This will revolutionize your life if you consciously apply it.

I can tell you I live in an almost constant paradise since I’ve been applying these ideas. You can do the same.

P.P.S. Depression is a horrible experience and I had it two times in my life. Personally, I was able to beat my depression in less than 24 hours of switching to a Raw Food Diet.

And I’ve met many other Raw Foodists who find it’s much easier to be happy even under conditions that used to be stressful and fear producing for them once they got their body aligned with nature by eating raw foods.

Here are some of my raw food diet resources that may just give you the tools you need to go raw and be MERRY.



The Only Solution to All Emotional Problems — 26 Comments

  1. Roger,

    Good advice, but this is half of the solution in some cases. Let me explain. I have found out a long time ago that one way to get rid of negative emotions, especially nervousness and shyness, is to accept the negative sentiments, tell yourself it is okay to feel shy and nervous, and give yourself total permisiion to feel this way and make mistakes, and look stupid. Do not fight the fear , but rather embrace the negative emotion and give it total love and acceptance. Don’t fight it! Love it.

  2. Dear Roger:

    Thank you so much for this masterpiece of motivation. I am on a partially raw diet and it makes such a big difference. This article was also timely for me because as a person who really feels what others are feeling (empath, I really have to watch out to not be pulled into pain issues that others are feeling.

    Thanks again for the wonderful reinforcement of what I know to be true.

  3. There is no such thing as ‘the only solution’. For every problem there are multiple solutions. And since people are different, for one person one solution works best, and for another person another solution.

  4. I agree with you that this works for adults but why doesn’t it work for children?
    For example my 2 year old would be happily skipping along and skin her knee or run happily into the street without the thought that a car might be coming. I coslept and didn’t believe my daughter would roll off the bed because she would sense it but it happened twice and got a bump on her head.
    Having a child has made me ask alot of questions surrounding this. Why would a small fearless child get eaten by the tigers but not the yogi (who is apparently trying to be more “childlike”..)
    Is it because their brains are not as powerful because they are not fully developed?

  5. Hi Roger,

    It sounds logical, but in moments of terrible fear or physical pain, or even overwheming mental sadness, trying to focus on JOY or HAPPINESS just isn’t practical.

    If you’ve found this to be the answer then you need to fully explain how anybody could possibly do this, in the moment …otherwise, like I say, it’s just impractical.

    Besides that, joy and happiness are very intangible and lots of us don’t even know what that looks or feels like, so you need to be less abstract and much more instructional.

    Yes you’re onto something, but you need to explain further please.

  6. Thanks for your comment Tim.

    What you’re stating is simply another version or way to reach the same ultimate goal that I’m stating.

    For in the end, it’s not possible to feel happy if you’re focused on positive emotions.

    You’re technique simply helps you focus on the positive.

    The only reason one is nervous or shy is because they expect something bad to happen to them. That negative expectation is what is actually makes you nervous or shy.

    This is the person focusing on a negative outcome. Even if they’re not consciously aware of it, they’re creating their very own problems because they expect to be shy, nervous etc.

  7. Eva,

    While there are many solutions or techniques for resolving emotional problems.

    Ultimately all solutions to emotional problems eventually cause the person to go from focusing on negative thoughts to positive ones.

    This is why I said “The ONLY Solution to Emotional Problems” because at the root core the solution ALWAYS looks the same.

    The person ends up focusing on JOYFUL thoughts. And if the person does not focus on JOYFUL and HAPPY thoughts then they have not arrived at the solution.

    There is no other way.

  8. Jamie,

    As for children. They themselves can absolutely 100% use this technique. I think you misunderstood what I was trying to communicate.

    I was simply talking about the issue of “control” and not specifically of this technique.

    While I believe in most instances it’s best not to try to control adults, when it comes to your children I think there are many a times when they have to be told what to do without giving them free will to do whatever they want.

    That’s all I was getting at.

    Young children need training and while they’re living under your roof and protection it’s likely there will be many times where you’ll have to control their actions and behavior.

  9. Pete L,

    Interesting points.

    1. In terms of terrible fear.

    Why does one have terrible fear in the first place? It’s because we choose to believe there’s something to fear.

    Of course, we have human programming or even instincts to tell us to be fearful under certain situations.

    But with practice even in these situations you do not have to be fearful. That is a choice.

    While I can’t say if in all situations I’d be able to remain calm and happy, I know for sure there are people who can.

    This is because their trust in God or the higher powers is so great that all they can even see is Heaven. They have “Heaven Goggles” so to speak.

    And I believe when you get to this point then you start to go way beyond the physical laws. The things that could hurt you before cannot anymore.

    But that’s a topic for discussion for another day.

    2. Physical pain:

    One can have extreme physical pain but that doesn’t mean you have to focus on the pain.

    There’s many an athlete for instance who has competed with painful injuries and even won championships while in pain.

    The athlete who can focus his or her thoughts on the goal instead of on the pain will have a major athletic advantage.

    In any case, this article was not meant to deal with physical but emotional pain.

    3. You wrote:

    “If you’ve found this to be the answer then you need to fully explain how anybody could possibly do this, in the moment …otherwise, like I say, it’s just impractical.

    Besides that, joy and happiness are very intangible and lots of us don’t even know what that looks or feels like, so you need to be less abstract and much more instructional.”

    Thanks for your question. This will help me as you’ll see below.

    Please realize this article which was already over 1,700 words cannot possibly go into this subject exhaustively at every level.

    Realize when I first wrote this it was only about 700 words. So I’ve already included a lot more detail and examples than in my original article.

    For many people what I wrote above will be all they’ll need. For others they may need more help.

    I do plan to write a more exhaustive program on this. I’ll probably turn it into a special report.

    Please let me know if you’d be interested in getting such a report. This goes for anyone reading this comment.

    But to make it simple.

    You have two choices on what to focus on in life in terms of your emotions.

    You can focus on emotions you want to experience versus emotions you don’t want.

    I’d suspect we’ve all at least had some happy moments. Go back and remember those moments.

    Most people go through their whole lives largely focusing on what they don’t want. They focus on their fears, on anger and on their inability to control others and their own lives. This lack of control gets them to naturally focus on negative emotions.

    You’ve got to reverse this trend if you want to be happy at all times.

    You get what you focus on.

  10. Are you a Christian who believes in Jesus christ? When people say God and Heaven sometimes they are talking about their own god instead of God our heavenly father, the 1 true God.

  11. Aloha Roger

    Thanks for the great article. It is something we all now already, but forget to apply to all things in our lives. The example I like to give is if a child spills something on the floor and the parent will scold them. I say, “what is the point of doing that (negative). It is already spilled. Instead find a solution (positive) for cleaning it up or helping your child be more careful, etc.

    Food also matter A LOT! It makes you feel ALIVE and VIBRANT or else you will be slow and sluggish. I prefer the first. Now with persimmons being in season, I am addicted (in a positive way 🙂 to eating them and once I have one it is difficult to stop. Nature has provided us with the perfect fast food in its own package. Why do people feel the need to process, change or alter what is already the best there is?
    Maybe if more people grew their own food and had fruit trees they would be more inclined/encouraged to eat the “fruits of their labor,” so to speak. Visually seeing for yourself the amazing “birth” of food in your own backyard, is like heaven on earth, to me. From a small seed plus oxygen, water, soil, sun and love a plant forms into something that can nourish my body so fully and completely with all the vitamins and minerals that I need for health and happiness – What a concept!

    I say that the world needs more trees. Not just planting trees in every yard, park, etc, but planting fruit trees because you are getting the best of everything a tree has to offer – food, shade, shelter for birds and oxygen for the planet. If we could have a LAW in place that mandates every person to plant a fruit tree (even those in apartments can have them in pots) then we could all share in the abundance and forget about an issues of hunger. What most people are eating you can’t even call food and it is devoid o any nutrients (save for the lettuce and tomato that is in the burger). I hope this will happen in our lifetime!

    Chef Mindy aka Ageless (low-fat) Raw Vegan

  12. Hi Roger,

    I feel it’s perhaps worth reminding readers here that you are specifically talking about “psychological problems and phobias” ..and where this occurs then yes, it’s not rocket science that everyone should always focus positively on finding a solution, or merely feeling happy or calm about the outcome or challenge or future.

    For example, from the top of your list, going through the well known 3 step solution to overcoming worry, or realising that fear doesn’t actually exist but only imagined fear does (apart from in potential survival situations), or focusing on personal growth and development when it comes to depression, etc, but what you have to be extremely careful of here is your bold headline that claimed “The Only Solution to All Emotional Problems” …which is actually untrue.

    Why? …because this wouldn’t take into accout sustained emotional pain from childhood abuse or rape, or Post Dramatic Stress Disorder, to name but two for example?

    Perhaps a more specific headline could be to refer to “Self Created Emotional Problems” ..or maybe in part to those caused by having a victim mentality, or you could be in danger of digging a hole for yourself, lol.

    In this context then no, I don’t feel a report is necessary as focusing positively on future happiness and joy in the moment are just common sense. It’s a trained internal response one learns during personal growth that ‘in every adversity there lies the seed of an equivalent advantage’ and it’s just up to us to find it, either in the moment or as soon as possible afterwards.

    A great reminder article though, and it’ll certainly focus people’s attention on how they are often ‘self creating’ their own emotional pains. Thanks.

  13. Gabriel,

    Do you believe that your particular form of Christianity is the only way to Heaven?

    It’s a shame how many Christians (certainly not all) feel that anyone having any spiritual growth and joy in life outside of their church or Christianity is really just experiencing this upliftment from the Devil.

    My father belongs to such a sect of Christianity.

    Apparently Lucifer is deceiving me and some day he’ll make me do evil things. Well after 24 years I think the evil should have happened already.

    But of course it hasn’t.

    Somehow if I’m not a Christian and I’m talking about Heaven I must for sure be wrong.

    Sorry, in my book that’s a whole bunch of mularky.

    Please open up to the truth. We are all children of the Divine and we don’t need any particular church or religion to know it and experience what we already are.

    Anyways, this is not a blog for or against Christianity or any particular religion. But it’s a shame so many people are so incredibly closed minded.

    For years and years I’ve been getting emails and blog comments just like this.

    And what’s worse is people like you presuming that I should be Christian.

  14. Hi Pete,

    We’ll have to agree to disagree on this point:

    “Why? …because this wouldn’t take into accout sustained emotional pain from childhood abuse or rape, or Post Dramatic Stress Disorder, to name but two for example?”

    It’s still the same person causing the pain, even if it’s repressed.

    The emotional pain from these “memories” would be gone if that person stopped focusing on the pain.

    Just because someone has been raped or abused as a child does not mean they need to focus on the pain of those experiences.

    After all, that experience is over. Why relive it? It’s because we get some satisfaction on some level of reliving the pain.

    Maybe we feel guilty or maybe we want revenge. But this again is focusing on the negative. A small negative part of the ego desires anger and such things.

    But if we want to be happy at all times we have to focus on the deep fountain of LOVE inside of all of us. For some people it’ll take some practice to find this LOVE.

    Anyone can go beyond. They can forgive and focus on what they want.

    In the final analysis there are only two major emotion categories – positive and negative.

    If you are focusing on the negative that is what you’ll have and vice versa.

    With enough time, even people with severely traumatic experiences can stop the pain by continually focusing from a state of personal JOY.

    In fact, it could happen instantly but the thought patterns are ingrained towards fear and negativity.

    What does this mean? It means that by a process of habit even though your trying not to, you habitually focus on negativity, anger, fear etc.

    To replace the FEAR the person needs something greater. And there is something inside of us that goes far beyond the mind that will uplift us past any point of pain.

  15. Ok, yes, I agree on that. No problem. ..but you’re still referring to ones ‘self created’ emotional pains AFTER the emotional event actually happened in the first place, which we all know is true that they are causing it,

    …so like I said earlier, the education needed here is to “fully explain how anybody could possibly do this, in the moment …otherwise, like I say, it’s just impractical”.

    And by ‘this’ I mean teaching people how to focus on the positive (i.e joy, happiness, solutions) in the moment, and not after any emotional pain event(s) occured.

    As a sidenote, there’s massive change and light transitioning on our planet over the next 3 years anyway so hopefully more joy and happiness will get ingrained into humankind’s thought processes, so positive thoughts could hopefully begin to happen much more instantly in any given moment.

    There would then perhaps be reduced need for counselling after an emotional event to get the recipient to refocus and rebalance onto positivity so they don’t self create their own emotional pain going forward.

    Here’s hoping!

    Thanks again.

  16. Glad you mentioned what you did Pete.

    I also believe the planet and the people on it is changing for the better.

    Now realize one can absolutely stop these problems from happening in the moment.

    But the real key is what I’m talking about does far more than just change your thoughts.

    It literally rewrites your reality. In other words, when we live IN JOY & LOVE it completely changes what “happens to us” in our outer reality.

    So not only have you changed the thoughts to an always positive focus.

    That change in focus will also dramatically transform the outer life.

    Because we are not just random victims of events in life. We are all CREATORS of our own realities.

    But taught to believe that crime, disease etc. happen to us randomly.

    They do not.

    Of course, too much to explain here. But if you try what I’m saying here in earnest, it will completely and positively revolutionize your life.

    I can tell you that not one person in a thousand has been doing what I’m telling you. But yet it’s what ALL saints or highly evolved spiritual beings are doing.

    They live in a state of paradise of their own creation. It’s not just changing thoughts, it’s also completely re-writing your reality.

    And this aligns perfectly with the transition you say the planet is supposed to be going through.

    11/11/11 was a big date for a new influx of such energies.


  17. Hello Roger,
    Thanks for the information.
    Not only PAIN, GUILT, ANGER….but also JOY,PLEASURE are our emotions. learning to identify them is one way to help ourselves expending our awearness. It matters what happens outside or inside of us. We focus on communication instead of emotions to build the connection and understanding of each other.

    There is a connection between YOU & ME. Observing things carefully (including all emotions). Communicate in a LOVING and CARING way with focusing on KINDNESS & PEACE. Practice it, as time goes by, it becomes a habbit. Always avoiding taking things personally is very important, even thoughts!


  18. The approach u mentioned in overcoming depression jst made my day! Ive had MS for 20 yrs now and things are no longer the same. I feel a lot of pain, can’t sleep well and feeling tired on most days. But I have decided not to make this a reason to give up on life as I still have a wonderful family who show me a lot of love, care, and affection and despite my condition they insist my presence alone in their lives is enough to make them happy. In other others words we are interdependent and responsible for one another and when anyone of us feels down, it affects the other. So it’s very impt. if Im happy coz if Im not it will have a domino effect. I dont want this to happen bec I love my family….thank u so much for the reminders. Everyone needs a little help from kindred souls like u. More power to u!

  19. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,Whenever I confront someone and tell him/her how I feel and what they did..even if I’m angry or upset or sad…I burst out crying..not just in front of my friends, in front of my amily too.The thing is I can’t talk to them when I’m angry,about anything.I just can’t take it.

    Once My parents made me feel I was adopted even though I’m their biological daughter..I was soo Angry,so I confronted them and told them everything they ever did to me, that hurt my feelings.You won’t believe how angry I was,But when I started talking..I started crying.It was like someone was forcing me to cry,I had no control of it.I just hate it.when someone is harsh to me..I start crying.

    I care about everyone soo much.Sometimes when I have a bar of chocolate and he asks me for half..I say no, But later I feel he’ll be upset so I break the bar in half and give it to him.but the truth is..I don’t think he feels sad.I care about people to much and all they ever gave me is nothing.Except treat me like a pair of shoes or trash.And when I confront them I start crying.
    Am I the only one like this??

    P.S: sorry if my English is not correct beacause I’m french and not that good in English.

  20. Good day to you Roger and to all who are reading! i agree with Roger. for me happiness is a choice. even in the darkest time of my life, i cud still smile or even laugh,, and the truth is others do not experienced same way as mine because they live the present as barely human , focusing of what they want,need,like,feel,and dream. try to realize, even if you have done very shameful in the past that makes people change, its no big deal, they are also human,yes they can judge,but they will also normally die.when that time comes they will then realize that they are just spending their life boredly.and regrets follows. havn’t u noticed this cycle of life? but we still doing the past’s mistakes…open ur eyes, just be happy,life’s problems is no big deal, they are part of the cycle, we cant take them out but we have the choice to be happy through possitiveness even amidst the worst problem in your life..if thers a problems then who cares..remmember we are not living in unending life,…just enjoy your temporary life!!!be good, no guilt

  21. Hello Roger,
    I admire your ideas very much. I wish there were more people like you.
    This is a very interesting article I came across in a… very interesting moment of my life, although I wasn’t looking for this, and I haven’t checked out your site for months or even years.
    You’re right on what you’re saying here, but it’s more complicated sometimes.
    I think I can handle my emotions pretty well, especially since some of my worst fears became true, and I somehow managed to recover, but I still seem to have some weaknesses left.
    Now I don’t have any real reason for unhappiness, except that all the people around me are so sad, they so much lack the joy that you speak of… Of course, the country I live in is a very dark place, but that’s no reason to give up your life force.
    I know I can’t control others, but I can’t just do nothing. So I try to talk to them, but they don’t really hear me, either they don’t listen, they don’t understand, they’re too afraid to talk about more serious stuff, or they just pretend they didn’t hear me. So, sometimes, I try to make myself heard by raising my voice, and by that I can’t be ignored anymore, but that usually makes people fear me and get angry with me. Although getting nowhere instantly, I think that in the long term I may have a positive effect, by cracking their shells where they were slowly boiling.
    Normally I wouldn’t intervene, but these people are too close to me, and I consider them intelligent, some more intelligent than me, so I am very surprised of their refusal to try to take a look at things from my perpective. If I could just get away from them and live alone, I would, but for now, I can’t.
    My problem is that I can’t get totally detached from the opinion they have on me (actually I can, but not for all of them). Even if they would disagree, because of the scary voice I use sometimes, I never really lose my cool temper, or even if I’m really pissed, my answers still follow logic, because I can’t really say anything if I’m in a (very rare) state that makes me unable to think.
    If they get upset with me, I don’t really care on the moment, but sometimes when I’m tired at night, or when I’m not busy with anything, I start wondering if I said anything wrong or untrue, which is okay, but even though my mind never finds anything that I agree to be wrong, my heart might start beating very fast, which feels bad if it lasts too much. Why is my own heart against me? Sure, there are sometimes unaswered questions, I like total sincerity, but it seems that to get them I would have to hurt everyone and, apparently, even myself, so I can’t get so extreme suddenly, but it would be so useful to have those answers…

    I would give more details on the actual practical situation, but I think I’ve bored you enough already, and I don’t know if you have time to read it.

    Also, I would love to see an article on how to deal with extreme physical pain, like broken bones, sustained burning, extreme chill, and other “nice” things a torturer might do to someone.

  22. i am 100% agree with you, your way as focusing on positive things and happiness and this is the best solution for any emotional thoughts in the life. thats really true..
    good article and keep going..

  23. Pingback: Emotional & Spiritual Health | thetrueinspiration

  24. Thank you so much for sharing your strategy. I have been crippled depressed over my divorce,son reacting badly to it, son having learning disorder, homelessness. All this overwhelmed me. After i read u post, i applied it. No more focusing on problem. Instead i chose love and happiness. And focus on solution to my son. I feel able to get out of bed and face life. Raw foof. I will try that

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